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The Visible Hand

by J Nash (October 20th, 2010 at 4:08 pm)

Handsomely adapted laserdisc coin-op Cobra Command is currently on sale for 59p/€0,79/99¢ and is a neato post-Drag Lair cartoon blaster, or a hilariously terrible memory test of the cheapest conceivable sceneThing!DEAD kind, depending on your point of view.

The reason I wanted to mention it though is because the settings menu links to this page:

Podgamer’s happy go lucky brains trust has been chortling sobbingly about buying your way through games since at least poster child coin-op Golden Axe and it’s pretty much how PC titles work nowadays (at least the online ones) except they shamedly disguise the shaving as “exclusives” or “specials” or “PodgeBeard GameCredit PureAdvantage(tm)” or something.

See how the friendly and lovable iThing just comes straight out and says, “Bit stuck? Pay your way past.” It’s practically adding a cheeky wink. Hurrah for the iThing! (SUB: PLEASE CHECK.)

Laserdisc gimmick this time: you can freely move the gunsight.

Actually, I’m intrigued by how Invincibility would work. The 1984 game’s clips don’t cycle if you miss an enemy to give you another chance on the repeat attack — unless you shoot perfectly every time, you’re insta-killed. Let’s raid the Podgamer Fire Chemicals & Crisps kitty FOR YOU to see what happens.

Well, that’s disappointing. The cartoon just plays straight from beginning to end as if you’d won every round — ie, the crims buzz at you, fire ineffectively and blow themselves up out of embarrassment. Still, it’s nice to see villains taking their responsibilities seriously.

Judge this