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I’ve been gathering a slow education about famous iThing games in order to avoid too many howlers born of ignorance. It’s a heck of a task that’s taking ages, because according to official figures there are fifty million thousand hundred pop culture titles and at least 12 good ones.
Today: Edge. And the problem with Edge is that it’s too inventive. Continue reading this post…
Podgamer Recommended One of the acest things about iThing players is that we’ll try anything. There’s a brave indie contingent on, say, the Xbox, but you can’t imagine the general Xbox ownership queuing in their thousands at midnight to shoot each other over mishandled copies of Squid Yes! Not So Octopus. The iThing, on the other hand, has no artifice: the charts are equally as likely to be topped by heavily promoted big name rubbish like Assassin’s Creed as out of nowhere surprise zeitgeist rubbish like Angry Birds. We are cosmopolitan idiots.
We’re also pretty and charming, unlike PC owners (fat), Xbox owners (drunk) and nobody could find any PS3 owners to determine what was wrong with them, and anyway Seaweed. Continue reading this post…
The exciting mystery match where a plucky contestant chooses a theme and tries to pick six consecutive decent games in that vein without landing on something fatally unendurable. Today's theme: snipers.
Podgamer Recommended 
Spiffo, I’ve been waiting for this to happen. Big Blue Bubble’s Thumpies is a superior rhythm game that benefits enormously from the specially composed music; instead of bongoing the grotesque chumpbundles around to your terrible taste in CDs, you “compose” a layer by following their dizzied bouncing and that’s then added to the soundtrack for the next sequence.
Promo shot; all of mine are rubbish because I AM TRYING TO MUSIC.
Meanwhile, butterflies flap around as the currency for unlocking (EXTRA CHARACTERS, extra characters, not levels) and you have to wriggle a skip in your conducting to net them before the tumbling beasties scoff the loot as they bob. (If you lose the beat altogether your entire bank escapes all over the screen promoting chaos.)
It’s altogether groovespangular and the game’s just plunged to an excuse-invalidating 59p/€0,79/99¢. If you’re still not convinced because you’re D Tomlinson or R Morley, you can try the three-level demo (with in-game unlock). There’s also an all-new iPad version that I’ve not played and is still £2.99/€3,99/$4.99.
(ALERT! The demo unlock didn’t seem to work for me and in fact I’ve been charged again for the complete version. I’ll sort that out now, but I’d recommend that if you like the demo then you buy the full game separately.)
Good morning, P Gamer chums. What's this 01 Games you want me to look at then? It sounds f
UNCUFF ME FROM THIS ESCRITOIRE I HAVE KILLED BEFORE.
In today’s modern convenient videogame shorthand, Tiltstorm would be Tempest Without Webs. (Actually, in today’s modern convenient videogame shorthand, Tiltstorm would be Not a WW2 Cover Shooter, WRY SATIRES.)
The thing is, there’s a reason Tempest has webs. Continue reading this post…
1. Bullet hell? Check!
2. Tauntingly retrievable power-ups? Check!
3. Slightly too busy backgrounds? Check!
4. Frequent bosses you can shimmy past embarrassedly, claiming an important dental appointment? Check!
5. Free until lunchtime? Ch — Hang on, what? — eck!
Go Go!! Epicforce’s Super Laser the Alien Fighter.
Podgamer Recommended 
J NASH, YOU BLOCKHEAD.
Man, these things really drive home how tremendous Sands of Time is. Ever since Ubisoft nailed the third-person platformer with the revamped Prince of Persia (then banged that nail into a big coffin with Warrior Within for which I blame you, YES YOU PERSONALLY, the idiot non-Sands of Time buying public) everyone’s been copying the copy of a copy.
Including Ubi themselves: Assassin’s Creed: Altair’s Chronicles is currently on sale for 59p/€0,79/99¢ and has triumphantly forgotten nearly every single lesson established by its venerated ageparent. Continue reading this post…
Let’s make this super-fast, I have a bus to catch.
Tap of the Dead is rubbish. Continue reading this post…