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The exciting mystery match where a plucky contestant chooses a theme and tries to pick six consecutive decent games in that vein without landing on something fatally unendurable. Today's theme: snipers.
Podgamer Recommended 
Spiffo, I’ve been waiting for this to happen. Big Blue Bubble’s Thumpies is a superior rhythm game that benefits enormously from the specially composed music; instead of bongoing the grotesque chumpbundles around to your terrible taste in CDs, you “compose” a layer by following their dizzied bouncing and that’s then added to the soundtrack for the next sequence.
Promo shot; all of mine are rubbish because I AM TRYING TO MUSIC.
Meanwhile, butterflies flap around as the currency for unlocking (EXTRA CHARACTERS, extra characters, not levels) and you have to wriggle a skip in your conducting to net them before the tumbling beasties scoff the loot as they bob. (If you lose the beat altogether your entire bank escapes all over the screen promoting chaos.)
It’s altogether groovespangular and the game’s just plunged to an excuse-invalidating 59p/€0,79/99¢. If you’re still not convinced because you’re D Tomlinson or R Morley, you can try the three-level demo (with in-game unlock). There’s also an all-new iPad version that I’ve not played and is still £2.99/€3,99/$4.99.
(ALERT! The demo unlock didn’t seem to work for me and in fact I’ve been charged again for the complete version. I’ll sort that out now, but I’d recommend that if you like the demo then you buy the full game separately.)
Good morning, P Gamer chums. What's this 01 Games you want me to look at then? It sounds f
UNCUFF ME FROM THIS ESCRITOIRE I HAVE KILLED BEFORE.
Nathan: “Hey everyone, it’s nearly Thanksgiving!”
Everyone [In unison]: “We’re in the UK. Well, mostly. We’re a fairly diverse group, but contrary to your ethnocentric view of the world, only a small minority of the Podgamer Legion hails from North America.”
Nathan: “Wow, that was really impressive! Did you guys rehearse that?”
Everyone [In unison again]: “Well, only that sentence and this handy follow-up phrase. Beyond that, however, asojfinwidmwoemckmsdf [unintelligible shouting].”
Nathan: “Oh. Well, um… ok. Anyway, you may not take a day each year to stuff your faces and celebrate Greek Hedonism (or whatever it is that informs my strange customs), but this year, Thanksgiving is still worth giving a crap about. Why? iThing games! Capcom, specifically, is having quite the sale. See for yourself: Phoenix Wright for £1.19/€1,59/$1.99, Mega Man II for 59p/€0,79/99¢, Dark Void Zero for 59p/€0,79/99¢, and 1942: First Strike for 59p/€0,79/99¢. Also, if you are from the US, there’s Cash Cab, Cash Cab: Las Vegas, and, er, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire – all for 99c. Aren’t you envious, Everyone? U-S-A! U-S-A! No? Ok, screw it, I’m moving to Canada.”
Often, the best games are those that strip a genre back to basics, leaving it in its purist form. In this modern age of hugely complex 3D shooting games, Westbang has long been a breeze of fresh air, battling against the stench of shit that emanates from the bulk of iOS shooters.
Westbang cunningly eschews mid-1990s (and on) fare, instead drawing influence from Sega classic Bank Panic (or, as Suv points out on the comments, Gremlin’s blatant 1986 rip-off Westbank). You’re in a sheriff in a suspiciously busy bank. Doors randomly open. If it’s a customer, don’t shoot; if it’s a bandit, shoot—but only after they draw (because you’re one of the good guys).
An accurate representation of what happens when Western governments allow the banking sector to be destroyed by idiots. OHO! SATIRE! (Sort of.)
Over the game’s 25 levels, things speed up and 21 different characters are introduced. The basic tap controls are first-rate and the game looks, sounds and plays great. For 59p/€0,79/99¢, it was a massive bargain, but it’s currently free, do download it now.
In today’s modern convenient videogame shorthand, Tiltstorm would be Tempest Without Webs. (Actually, in today’s modern convenient videogame shorthand, Tiltstorm would be Not a WW2 Cover Shooter, WRY SATIRES.)
The thing is, there’s a reason Tempest has webs. Continue reading this post…
1. Bullet hell? Check!
2. Tauntingly retrievable power-ups? Check!
3. Slightly too busy backgrounds? Check!
4. Frequent bosses you can shimmy past embarrassedly, claiming an important dental appointment? Check!
5. Free until lunchtime? Ch — Hang on, what? — eck!
Go Go!! Epicforce’s Super Laser the Alien Fighter.
Podgamer Recommended Magical Drop is great. Magical Drop for iOS is a pile of steaming shit. As a huge Magical Drop fan, the combination of the previous two statements has resulted in HULK SMASH anger for me since iOS gaming took hold; but now Linkoidz is here to save the day, providing similar dynamics to Data East’s title, but without controls that make you want to take a baseball bat to your device.
Podgamer Recommended 
J NASH, YOU BLOCKHEAD.
Normally “free” and “not shit” are enough to warrant a bark and a point from us, your trusty App Store hounds at Podgamer, but today I’ve decided to mix things up. See, while Brutal Fantasy-Prologue is definitely free and also gleefully slashy (though generically so) enough to cross the rickety bridge out of Shitsville and into Mediocrity Zone, it’s also – dare I say it – profound. Actually, I don’t dare say it, because it’s really not. But it is profound’s plainer, lose-the-glasses-and-we-might-have-something sister, “interesting.”
See, in a slight twist on the normal App Store release formula, the full version of Brutal Fantasy won’t be out for another month, and this free Prologue – as you might expect – sports the beginnings of its storyline. What is that storyline, you ask? Uh, I think there was an evil knight or something like that. I didn’t really pay attention, but seeing as there are about three fantasy plots in existence, I’ve got a decent shot at being on the money. Point is, even if Brutal Fantasy-Prologue’s story physically spurted chopped liver out of my iPhone speaker, I wouldn’t have minded. It’s not important. What is important is the delivery of that story.