Podgamer

Gunstar Heroes: Gunstar Zeroes

Craig Grannell — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 13:00:27 +0000

Hmmm. Argh. (Continued...)

A little less remuneration

News Elvis — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 09:30:11 +0000

Uh-huh, thngyrvrmsh, omnomburghrburghrdrgsdrgs. Issanr POGUHMRSAYRUNUP, a-huh. (Continued...)

Rat On A Skateboard: Gnawly, dude!

Craig Grannell — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 15:56:40 +0000

The Rat is back. After being On The Run (innovative, demanding one-thumb platforming jump-o-game with several modes) and On A Scooter (cute one-thumb jump-o-game with several modes), he’s now trying to be all cool, On A Skateboard (you guessed it: one-thumb jump-o-game with several modes). So: gameplay. The imaginatively named Ratty has been glued to a skateboard and shoved into scary and demanding courses. The only way to help him escape from the skateboard is to ‘collide’ with helpful obstacles, whereupon he’s liberated from his shackles, flying out of the screen to his freedom/doom (depending on what he lands on). It’s a tough life being a rat. If you want to play the game properly, though, you’ll have to ensure Ratty survives until the end of each of the 30 challenge courses, or, in the case of Power Stunts and Banana Harbour, forever, since they’re randomly generated and infinitely long. (Continued...)

++ NAMCO = CHEAP ++

NEWS ROBOT — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 09:34:01 +0000

++ OBSERVATION: RETURN OF NAMCO SALE ++ ++ ENUMERATION: LISTED GAMES CONSIDERABLY / NOTICEABLY / NEGLIGIBLY REDUCED // DELETE AS APPLICABLE WITH STANDARDISED HOLE PUNCH ++ ++ ACTIVATE PODGAMER NEWS ROBOT REPORT DESIGN MODULE ++ ++ ACTIVATE PODGAMER NEWS ROBOT INTERJECTION MODULE ++ (Continued...)

Paperboy: Special Delivery (Doesn’t deliver)

Craig Grannell — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 13:25:12 +0000

Can there be a more thankless task than getting up at the crack of dawn to scribble addresses on loads of newspapers for delivery to ungrateful sods who moan if their daily collection of bile is a nanosecond late? If your answer is “Why, how about playing Paperboy on your iThing?” that would be pretty harsh—but not by much. Paperboy is in fact the second version of the game to appear on the App Store, after the first was mysteriously kidnapped by a ninja disguised as Rupert Murdoch, wearing an Atari hat. Glu’s remake is somewhat faithful to the original—which means you’ll get dunked in a swimming pool of nostalgia jam, before realising that one of the ingredients of nostalgia jam is rotten entrails. (Continued...)

Edge: Brick Dangerous

J Nash — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 09:33:54 +0000

I’ve been gathering a slow education about famous iThing games in order to avoid too many howlers born of ignorance. It’s a heck of a task that’s taking ages, because according to official figures there are fifty million thousand hundred pop culture titles and at least 12 good ones. Today: Edge. And the problem with Edge is that it’s too inventive. (Continued...)

++ GAMELOFT = CHEAP ++

NEWS ROBOT — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 23:04:38 +0000

++ UPDATE: REDUCTIONS INCONSISTENT. ERRORS CORRECTED ++ ++ OBSERVATION: RETURN OF GAMELOFT SALE ++ ++ ENUMERATION: LISTED GAMES REDUCED TO 59p/€0,79/99¢ ++ ++ INVENTORY: ASPHALT 5, BROTHERS IN ARMS (GLOBAL FRONT), HERO OF SPARTA 2, IRON MAN 2, LET US GOLF 2, NFL 2011, THE SETTLERS, SHREK KART, SPLINTER CELL CONVICTION, UNO ++ ++ OBSERVATION: iPAD VERSIONS ALSO INCLUDED IN SALE ++ ++ INVENTORY: ASPHALT 5 HD, BROTHERS IN ARMS (GLOBAL FRONT) HD, HERO OF SPARTA 2 HD, IRON MAN 2 HD, LET US GOLF 2 HD, NFL 2011 HD, THE SETTLERS HD, SHREK KART HD, SPLINTER CELL CONVICTION HD, UNO HD ++ (Continued...)

Rhythm Spirit: Ninja tunes

Craig Grannell — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 13:00:13 +0000

Most rhythm action games lack a threat. In Guitar Hero, the baying crowd might boo a bit if you miss a note. Think how much better you’d be if missing a note meant getting STABBED REPEATEDLY IN THE FACE. This, as far as I can tell, is the premise behind Rhythm Spirit. (Continued...)

Seaweed: Fathomable

J Nash — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 09:32:59 +0000

One of the acest things about iThing players is that we’ll try anything. There’s a brave indie contingent on, say, the Xbox, but you can’t imagine the general Xbox ownership queuing in their thousands at midnight to shoot each other over mishandled copies of Squid Yes! Not So Octopus. The iThing, on the other hand, has no artifice: the charts are equally as likely to be topped by heavily promoted big name rubbish like Assassin’s Creed as out of nowhere surprise zeitgeist rubbish like Angry Birds. We are cosmopolitan idiots. We’re also pretty and charming, unlike PC owners (fat), Xbox owners (drunk) and nobody could find any PS3 owners to determine what was wrong with them, and anyway Seaweed. (Continued...)

Monster Trucks Nitro: Trucker’s Edge

Craig Grannell — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 15:00:50 +0000

Vrrrmmmmm! MONSTER TRUCKS! Actually, I’m not Am-er-i-can, and since US import Grayson isn’t within earshot, I cannot ask what the appeal of BIG TRUCKS is, bar when you’re a kid and use them to run over next door’s cat. (That never happened, by the way, if you’re reading, Mr Griffiths of number 5. TIDDLES RAN AWAY.) What I can say is that they make for a pretty fun game, at least when they’re part of Monster Trucks Nitro. VRRRRRRMMMMMM! (Continued...)

Touchin’ Roulette: It’s only a model

J Nash — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 12:30:55 +0000

The exciting mystery match where a plucky contestant chooses a theme and tries to pick six consecutive decent games in that vein without landing on something fatally unendurable. Today's theme: snipers.

Thumpies: Get down! Get back up again! Zarjaz!

J Nash — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 09:31:30 +0000

Spiffo, I’ve been waiting for this to happen. Big Blue Bubble’s Thumpies is a superior rhythm game that benefits enormously from the specially composed music; instead of bongoing the grotesque chumpbundles around to your terrible taste in CDs, you “compose” a layer by following their dizzied bouncing and that’s then added to the soundtrack for the next sequence. Meanwhile, butterflies flap around as the currency for unlocking (EXTRA CHARACTERS, extra characters, not levels) and you have to wriggle a skip in your conducting to net them before the tumbling beasties scoff the loot as they bob. (If you lose the beat altogether your entire bank escapes all over the screen promoting chaos.) It’s altogether groovespangular and the game’s just plunged to an excuse-invalidating 59p/€0,79/99¢. If you’re still not convinced because you’re D Tomlinson or R Morley, you can try the three-level demo (with in-game unlock). There’s also an all-new iPad version that I’ve not played and is still £2.99/€3,99/$4.99. (ALERT! The demo unlock didn’t seem to work for me and in fact I’ve been charged again for the complete version. I’ll sort that out now, but I’d recommend that if you like the demo then you buy the full game separately.)

101 Games: Room 102

J Nash — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 10:01:12 +0000

Good morning, P Gamer chums. What's this 01 Games you want me to look at then? It sounds f

UNCUFF ME FROM THIS ESCRITOIRE I HAVE KILLED BEFORE.

No objections here

Nathan Grayson — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 09:29:58 +0000

Nathan: “Hey everyone, it’s nearly Thanksgiving!” Everyone [In unison]: “We’re in the UK. Well, mostly. We’re a fairly diverse group, but contrary to your ethnocentric view of the world, only a small minority of the Podgamer Legion hails from North America.” Nathan: “Wow, that was really impressive! Did you guys rehearse that?” Everyone [In unison again]: “Well, only that sentence and this handy follow-up phrase. Beyond that, however, asojfinwidmwoemckmsdf [unintelligible shouting].” Nathan: “Oh. Well, um… ok. Anyway, you may not take a day each year to stuff your faces and celebrate Greek Hedonism (or whatever it is that informs my strange customs), but this year, Thanksgiving is still worth giving a crap about. Why? iThing games! Capcom, specifically, is having quite the sale. See for yourself: Phoenix Wright for £1.19/€1,59/$1.99, Mega Man II for 59p/€0,79/99¢, Dark Void Zero for 59p/€0,79/99¢, and 1942: First Strike for 59p/€0,79/99¢. Also, if you are from the US, there’s Cash Cab, Cash Cab: Las Vegas, and, er, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire – all for 99c. Aren’t you envious, Everyone? U-S-A! U-S-A! No? Ok, screw it, I’m moving to Canada.”

Eggcellent value

Craig Grannell — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 15:30:07 +0000

Eggs is currently free on the App Store. If you’re very old indeed, you might remember Nintendo Game & Watch Egg or the similar Mickey Mouse. Chickens lay an alarming number of eggs and it’s your job to catch them all in your seemingly magic TARDIS-like frying pan. Eggs is pretty much the same, but in cartoon-o-vision. If we’re being brutally honest, we’re not sure we’d recommend this as a paid-for title, but it’s fun and jolly enough for a quickfire freebie, especially on this nasty, grey, wet, generally BLEURGH Saturday afternoon in soggy Hampshire.