Universal News
A little less remuneration
by News Elvis (November 26th, 2010 at 9:30 am)
Uh-huh, thngyrvrmsh, omnomburghrburghrdrgsdrgs.
Issanr POGUHMRSAYRUNUP, a-huh. Continue reading this post…
freebies
Review 
Podgamer Recommended
Fathomable
by J Nash (November 23rd, 2010 at 9:32 am)
One of the acest things about iThing players is that we’ll try anything. There’s a brave indie contingent on, say, the Xbox, but you can’t imagine the general Xbox ownership queuing in their thousands at midnight to shoot each other over mishandled copies of Squid Yes! Not So Octopus. The iThing, on the other hand, has no artifice: the charts are equally as likely to be topped by heavily promoted big name rubbish like Assassin’s Creed as out of nowhere surprise zeitgeist rubbish like Angry Birds. We are cosmopolitan idiots.
We’re also pretty and charming, unlike PC owners (fat), Xbox owners (drunk) and nobody could find any PS3 owners to determine what was wrong with them, and anyway Seaweed. Continue reading this post…
Review Podgamer Recommended
Trucker’s Edge
by Craig Grannell (November 22nd, 2010 at 3:00 pm)
Vrrrmmmmm! MONSTER TRUCKS! Actually, I’m not Am-er-i-can, and since US import Grayson isn’t within earshot, I cannot ask what the appeal of BIG TRUCKS is, bar when you’re a kid and use them to run over next door’s cat. (That never happened, by the way, if you’re reading, Mr Griffiths of number 5. TIDDLES RAN AWAY.) What I can say is that they make for a pretty fun game, at least when they’re part of Monster Trucks Nitro. VRRRRRRMMMMMM!
Posted by Craig Grannell on November 22nd, 2010 at 3:00 pm
News
Eggcellent value
by Craig Grannell (November 20th, 2010 at 3:30 pm)
Eggs is currently free on the App Store. If you’re very old indeed, you might remember Nintendo Game & Watch Egg or the similar Mickey Mouse. Chickens lay an alarming number of eggs and it’s your job to catch them all in your seemingly magic TARDIS-like frying pan.
Frying tonight!
Eggs is pretty much the same, but in cartoon-o-vision. If we’re being brutally honest, we’re not sure we’d recommend this as a paid-for title, but it’s fun and jolly enough for a quickfire freebie, especially on this nasty, grey, wet, generally BLEURGH Saturday afternoon in soggy Hampshire.
News
Bang per (no) buck(s)
by Craig Grannell (November 20th, 2010 at 2:58 pm)
Often, the best games are those that strip a genre back to basics, leaving it in its purist form. In this modern age of hugely complex 3D shooting games, Westbang has long been a breeze of fresh air, battling against the stench of shit that emanates from the bulk of iOS shooters.
Westbang cunningly eschews mid-1990s (and on) fare, instead drawing influence from Sega classic Bank Panic (or, as Suv points out on the comments, Gremlin’s blatant 1986 rip-off Westbank). You’re in a sheriff in a suspiciously busy bank. Doors randomly open. If it’s a customer, don’t shoot; if it’s a bandit, shoot—but only after they draw (because you’re one of the good guys).
An accurate representation of what happens when Western governments allow the banking sector to be destroyed by idiots. OHO! SATIRE! (Sort of.)
Over the game’s 25 levels, things speed up and 21 different characters are introduced. The basic tap controls are first-rate and the game looks, sounds and plays great. For 59p/€0,79/99¢, it was a massive bargain, but it’s currently free, do download it now.
Posted by Craig Grannell on November 20th, 2010 at 2:58 pm
News
Morning freebie: Super Laser
by J Nash (November 19th, 2010 at 10:37 am)
1. Bullet hell? Check!
2. Tauntingly retrievable power-ups? Check!
3. Slightly too busy backgrounds? Check!
4. Frequent bosses you can shimmy past embarrassedly, claiming an important dental appointment? Check!
5. Free until lunchtime? Ch — Hang on, what? — eck!
Go Go!! Epicforce’s Super Laser the Alien Fighter.
Universal News
Tales of interest
by Nathan Grayson (November 18th, 2010 at 6:24 am)
Normally “free” and “not shit” are enough to warrant a bark and a point from us, your trusty App Store hounds at Podgamer, but today I’ve decided to mix things up. See, while Brutal Fantasy-Prologue is definitely free and also gleefully slashy (though generically so) enough to cross the rickety bridge out of Shitsville and into Mediocrity Zone, it’s also – dare I say it – profound. Actually, I don’t dare say it, because it’s really not. But it is profound’s plainer, lose-the-glasses-and-we-might-have-something sister, “interesting.”
See, in a slight twist on the normal App Store release formula, the full version of Brutal Fantasy won’t be out for another month, and this free Prologue – as you might expect – sports the beginnings of its storyline. What is that storyline, you ask? Uh, I think there was an evil knight or something like that. I didn’t really pay attention, but seeing as there are about three fantasy plots in existence, I’ve got a decent shot at being on the money. Point is, even if Brutal Fantasy-Prologue’s story physically spurted chopped liver out of my iPhone speaker, I wouldn’t have minded. It’s not important. What is important is the delivery of that story.
Posted by Nathan Grayson on November 18th, 2010 at 6:24 am
News
Minigore for mini price (no price)
by Craig Grannell (November 16th, 2010 at 2:26 pm)
PODGAMER PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.
Twin-stick shooter and RevStu fave Minigore is free for 48 hours. If you don’t already own it and also avoid downloading it within this 48-hour period, you are a dolt. That is all.
Yes, we're using auto-aim, because otherwise taking a screen-grab is a massive pain in the backside. Thanks, Chillingo, for spraying crap all over your App Store screen-grabs. You're lucky we're covering this game at all.
END OF PODGAMER PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.
PODGAMER PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, PART TWO.
If the game is still showing a price tag, go back in a few hours. Apple’s black-turtleneck-powered servers might not have caught up with the exciting price-drop in your region yet.
END OF PODGAMER PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, PART TWO.
Posted by Craig Grannell on November 16th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Review
Flamin’ NORA!
by RevStu (November 13th, 2010 at 11:03 am) WITH SPECIAL GUEST STARS
Where, of course, NORA stands for “Numerous OpenFeint-supporting Redemption-style Arcade games”. Nicolas Robert‘s minimalist “Flamin” series is mostly based on those end-of-the-pier gaming machines that reward players with prizes either directly or by giving out tickets that you can redeem at a kiosk, but there are no prizes on offer here – not even Coin Dozer-type virtual ones.
Happily, though, AuroraFeint’s popular high-score service has stepped in to save the day by providing an alternative goal-and-reward system, and everything’s worked out beautifully in the end. Hurrah!
Review
Weekend freebie: Slashmaster
by J Nash (November 13th, 2010 at 1:49 am)
Blimey, this is a messy game.
On the Good Messy side, Zoobox’s 2D scrolling fighter is apparently sponsored by Bob’s Bladders of Blood Ltd and nothing occurs except as an explosion of chaotic mayhem. Each level lasts just long enough that you don’t care you’re chugging back and forth along the same threeish-screen-wide arena being randomly attacked from both sides until you fill your QUOTA OF DEATH.
Bad Messy: the power-ups are divorced from your inventory. What this means is that you can buy upgrades (with coins from dead monsters) for the full set of weapons, anticipating the Random Allocation Bat will dispense one you’ve powered up when you kill it.
(You have to double-jump to reach the bat and any bequeathed item vanishes after a few seconds, but the fighting’s such a dervish of punch-ups that you’ll inevitably auto-grab everything that passes. The trick is to upgrade everything to at least the first level before looking to pick a favourite.)
The power-up combos rely on your pressing Fire again (eg, a whirlwind sword comes after a straight poke and a leaping stab) so technically you can break off in the middle, but the fighting’s such an etc that you’ll inevitably be desperately trying to turn towards a sneak ambush only to find the game still thinks you want to finish your super-flashy combo on that corpse.
Boss fights are every five levels and are rubbishly cramped because they’re on top (rather than instead) of a standard minion rush.
Pretty much a heavy metal version of that disappointingly out of favour comic standby where a fight’s an impenetrable dustcloud of fists and ooyahs, Slashmaster confused me at first, entertained me for half an hour, and then I ate an apple. It’s free this weekend.